Aftercare

Aftercare refers to the emotional and physical support provided to participants following a sexual or kink encounter.

Background

In the minutes, hours, or days after a sexual encounter, some people experience negative emotional and physical symptoms, most commonly known as a sub drop. Dominant partners can have similar symptoms, sometimes called a dom drop or top drop.

The post-play drop overlaps with post-coital tristesse (also known as post-coital dysphoria), characterized by sad or irritable feelings after an orgasm. However, BDSM scenes do not necessarily involve sex or orgasm, and a drop can still be experienced in their absence.

Symptoms of post-play drop

Symptoms vary, but can include:

• Sadness
• Anxiety
• Guilt or self-doubt
• Fatigue or exhaustion
• Headache
• Muscle aches
• Cravings for comfort
• Difficulty concentrating
• Mood swings

Physiology of post-play drop

• Endorphins and adrenaline are cleared from the body

Psychology of post-play drop

• Returning to the "normal world" and its stressors

Methods

Effective aftercare varies significantly based on personal preferences and the physical or mental intensity of the scene. Some common practices include:

• Caring for injuries
• Cleaning with a warm damp towel
• Providing water and snacks
• Regulating body temperature
• Taking a shower or bath
• Taking a nap

• Talking
  • Praise and reassurance
  • Discussing favorite parts of the scene or what they would like to change for next time
  • Staying in touch over the following days, in case the person is experiencing a delayed drop
• Physical touch
  • Hugging
  • Cuddling
  • Massage

• Comforting media (e.g. TV, movie, music)
• Relaxing activities (e.g. reading, walking, journaling)
• Gentle sex
• Spending time alone

During pre-scene negotiation, participants can discuss the aftercare practices they prefer, as well as any limits (e.g. kissing).